so our weekends are quickly turning into a vortex of activities as we’ve added two more to his weekend itinerary – reading and swimming.
am not exactly proud for sending him to the former, really. i mean, a mother who was an english & literature major… quite embarrassing, doncha think? oh, the irony! but i tell ya, teaching your own kid is quite a different animal altogether. the cajoling, the threatening, the negotiating, the emotional blackmails, the guilt trips… they never taught you all that, you know.
but as much as you hate it, and are very likely perpetuating the vicious cycle of putting unnecessary pressure and expectations upon a child when he’s probably not developmentally ready, you do it aaaanyway, because the harsh reality is: it’s terrifyingly competitive out there, and being a full-time working mother with little time (and frankly, patience), you swallow your pride and do what it takes to keep him on par with – if not ahead of – his peers.
the kids are going through a chameleon phase, and when i say chameleon phase, i’m not saying they’re creeping around, blending with the background and changing colours or anything.
it happens that i’d picked out eric carle’s ‘The Mixed-up Chameleon’ the other day and the kids just loved it; then we went to the library and found this really adorable book about a sad Blue Chameleon which we all enjoyed as well; then i found this book at popular bookshop about how Chameleons are Cool, and now i know that chameleons don’t change colours to match their surroundings but actually do so to reflect their mood (though they’re mostly grumpy). and heck, just to complete the ‘theme’, i’m almost a step away from making paper mache chameleons and finding a real life chameleon as a pet (but they live in madagascar – see, another useful trivia from a kids’ book, right there). but… that’d be bordering on obsession.
here i interrupt this story briefly to mention that auni had also, during the above-mentioned library trip, decided to insist on borrowing this malay book called ‘Musang yang Licik dengan Ayam Betina Katik’. i’d chuckled at her choice, but indulged her anyway, and when i read to them in my best impression of a storyteller on a Suria channel’s children’s programme, they were SO tickled. i figured it must be due to: (a) the words ‘licik’ and ‘katik’ (you gotta admit, they’re funny-sounding words); (b) mummy’s a great storyteller (the ghosts of cikgus past seemed to have possessed me); (c) me reading aloud a malay book is quite the novelty (maybe i should read Berita Harian aloud to them on a daily basis – but nah, that’s like reading one bad story after another…); or (d) it was a good story – well, it’s basically the same ol’ premise of cunning fox trying to outdo a hen, finally catches the hen, but hen outdoes fox, fox gets his retribution, moral of the story, the end. reaaaally mind-blowing stuff.
so back to the chameleons.
now, if you’re around my age and have grown up with 80′s pop music, the first thing that’ll pop into your head when you hear the word ‘chameleon’ would be Culture Club’s classic number one hit, ‘Karma Chameleon’. come on, ‘fess up, it was, wasn’t it??
well, i’m afraid that was also what happened with the daddy. like on auto-mode (and repeat mode), he’d go “karma karma karma karma, karma chameleonnnn…!” everytime the kids shove one of the chameleon books under his nose. of course, the kids think he’s nuts.
so, being the ever-resourceful net-savvy daddy that he is, he typed in ‘karma chameleon’ in youtube, and played the video to enlighten the kids and further immerse them in the ‘theme’. needless to say, they were quite fascinated. i mean, wouldn’t you if you were a kid and saw this?
a clown of indeterminate gender in make-up with a funny hat and psychedelic costume singing on a boat with other circus freaks! plus, hello, catchy tune? yes, they asked to repeat it a few times.
so during bedtime yesterday, after the youtube sing-a-long session, the boy asked – “mummy, what is ka-ma?” well, i said, it’s like when you do something good to someone, something good will happen to you, and if you do something bad to someone, something bad will happen to you.
and whaddaya know? he exclaimed, “OH I KNOW I KNOW! like this book, right??” and promptly dug out ‘Musang yang Licik dengan Ayam Betina Katik’ and flipped it open to this page:
for a while my jaw dropped – it totally did NOT occur to me to make that connection myself, because the context and language i’d explained the concept in was different, but yeah, i told him, dammit, he’s right. and he beamed.
looks like si ibu yang cilik licik was outdone by her anak katik after all.
i guess i spoke too soon – “inspired” by discussions on the merits of the Peter & Jane series, i managed to persuade aniq to try it out one evening, by insisting that it’s “VERY EASY”.
it took a week of frustrations (on both sides) as we plodded through book 1a before he surprisingly picked up speed and went on to 1b.
i think one of the challenges i faced teaching the kid (other than the typically boyish playfulness and impatience) was having a younger sibling interrupt us ever so often – e.g. she’d demand for HER book to be read, or ask for a drink, or chatter on and on, or be plain mischievous and cheeky, as evident in the video below:
in any case, i have to say i feel a liiiitle bit relieved at having made actual progress in our “thorny but exciting” road to literacy.
i’d been growing a liiiiittttle anxious that the boy is ending his K1 year and turning 5 in a few months’ time, and was still resisting our nudges to start reading independently.
sure, he knows his ABCs (occasionally mixing up the small letters ‘b’ and ‘d’, and a few others, especially when distracted – and boyyy is he easily distracted), and would randomly seek my confirmation that ‘snake’ starts with ‘s’, or ‘finger’ starts with ‘f’, or ‘Honda’ starts with ‘h’, or Toyota starts with ‘t’. (his current fascination is car brands, btw – according to him, we drive a ‘Honda e-way’, and a Beetle is a ‘Boxdragon’, which i repeatedly try to correct with the german pronunciation of ‘Volkswagen’, which in turn confuses him more since ‘V’ is ‘F’ and ‘W’ is ‘V’ in german… and his favourite car? a PROTON. gawwwwd, run me down with a Boxdragon, now!)
so anyway, i’d attempted an evergreen beginner-readers’ classic, the Peter & Jane series, which i’d read to him since he was still a crawling mass, but perhaps the too-early introduction, plus the antiquated illustrations and the stilted flow of words, did not interest him very much to pursue the perusal of Peter, Jane and their dog’s antics and adventures.
his preschool curriculum doesn’t impose spelling tests or rigourous worksheets, which i’m quite thankful for actually, coz mummy thinks he spends plenty of time in school in the day already and all she wants to do after coming home from work is play and talk and not have stressful evenings of drilling and cajoling a preschooler to “finish up his homework”, coz there’ll be a disgusting amount of years ahead yet for that. :S
having said that, i AM amazed at kids his age or younger already adept at doing spelling and math and various languages in other preschools. and VERY intimidated.
i think aniq’s reluctance to read probably has to do with a lack of confidence, of getting things wrong or from having been compared to his older cousins or friends who are already skilled readers. but a few factors are slowly helping him overcome this.
first, the sense of competitiveness he feels with his sister, who is admittedly displaying a quick grasp of language and literacy. and second, the lure of a reward….. now i KNOWWWW early childhood educators out there are probably GASPING in disapproval at this; that one should not ‘bribe’ a child to learn a skill that should be an intrinsic reward by itself, blablabla, but aww, what’s a little carrot at the end of the stick, i say? ;p oh stoppit, i DO all the other things i’m supposed to do too; bedtime stories, reading aloud, heaps of encouragement and praise, going to the library, be seen reading myself, blablabla, heyyy i’ve done the googling. but maybe some kids are just motivated… erm, differently?
in any case, this was the first book he’d agreed to read aloud in full, and it was quite an exasperating task to get him to recognise the words, what with his attention span. but after i’d video-ed him a few times, he felt more confident and let’s hope he moves on to other more, hmm, ‘exciting’ books, yes?
feel free to guess whether he memorised most, if not the entire thing, instead of actually reading the words, hehe.
oh, and so what WAS his reward?
it was on sale. (yeah, corrupt AND stingy parents. tsk.)
she’s started on solids, one week shy of turning six months. so far, very diluted brown rice (which was boring), and mushed up bananas. erm, trying to remember what other stuff we fed aniq the last time, but bananas are like the easiest thing.
as for the boy, he’s totally refused any form of diapers or pull-ups. two years ten months old. just noting it down for posterity. his total ‘self-weaning’ began on the first day of his new school. changed the sheets two nights, after which i sneakily put on his pull-ups while he was asleep, but yesterday i decided to let it go and things are lookin’ dry. gotta buy more underwear for him.
the rule is to look serious, like mark wahlberg. while holding a, erm, weapon in one hand. very macho.
ok, so those aren’t calvin kleins. (on aniq, that is. on marky mark, they’re the real mccoy, all right. not that i’d know, though. too much distraction to see actual label on those tighty-whities… ouh.)
it was on a whim that i picked out a pair of bright bots’ training pants and shoved it to his daddy. not to try on, but to ask for his opinion. we wanted a bright red one (!!), coz we planned to tell him they’re part of Superman’s costume. but they didn’t have red in his size, which we guessed was M (though now we know they’re a little tighty-err…bluey, so we’ll get a size L for the next few ones).
he got all excited when we told him we bought him Superman underwear, and he ripped open the plastic bag, just like Superman would if told he’s got a new pair of undies.
“unnerwear!!”
he’d had a brief (pardon the pun) experience wearing dadam’s smaller underwear some time back, which was short-lived as he’d forgotten he was wearing it while playing, and headed to the toilet a micro-second too late. pee had seeped onto the rug in his room.
these bright bots ones are brilliant and i don’t know whyyyy i never thought of getting them earlier, like super-duh. they look and feel like briefs, but have a waterproof thingy in between the layers of cloth on the crotch. like a waterproof bib for the willy ha ha.
anyway, his eyes immediately lit up at the thought of becoming superman, and he said,
“aniq nak encing!”
because, of course, superman must potty first before becoming superman, as stated in the Golden Handbook of Becoming Superman. he promptly proceeded to the toilet to take off his pants, place his potty seat on the toilet bowl, and climbed over it to do the wee-wee.
“bye bye encing!”
that’s him bidding farewell to the liquid deposit as i flushed.
he grabbed his new “unnerwear” and put it on, the way i taught him to – sit down, one leg in, then the other leg, stand up, pull up “unnerwear”, cover beberd (“wait beberd fly!”), and cover “ontot”.
i wonder why little willies are called birdies. must be coined by a coy mother in the olden days to ensure their boys covered up their bits and not let it, err, stray. plus, it’s cuter than calling it “wormie” and less menacing than “snakey”. i think.
aaanyway (why do i always get distracted?), he spotted daddy wearing the SAME coloured underwear (oops, is that too much info?).
“daddy unnerwear same! daddy superman?”. afterwhich he started leaping around the house like superman’s apprentice.
and right on time, the tv played one of those superheroes cartoons and we ALL got excited pointing out how ALL of them wore “unnerwear”! yes, wonderwoman is just like mummy! look at mummy’s “unnerwear”! (admittedly, i was wearing pink, but whaddahell, right?)
“mimmy can fly?”
erm. maybe if i changed into a corset. and eat steroids. otherwise, i’ll probably look more like this:
yes, with the pizza. which incidentally we had for dinner while watching cartoons last night. (i really want to talk about Tom & Jerry, the dynamics of.)
speaking of wonderwoman, doncha think her logo says W&F??
the invisible wonderwoman. with not so wonderboobs. she needs a wonderbra.
oh, and we made a mistake of unleashing those superundies at night coz after his second pee in the toilet, it was time for bed, and he super-refused to wear anything other than his new “unnerwear”.
so he ended up wearing that AND his pull-up diaper over it. (i’m SO not ready to wake him up in the middle of the night to remind him to pee! :p)
wonder how superman does his pee-pee with his unnerwear outside his tights… (i can imagine izad coming up with some theory about how there’s probably a side slit, like boxers. hmm, which brings us to the question, how big IS superman?… ok, what did i say about always getting distracted??)
ps: message to norsita – i got your email, so sorry i’m taking so long to reply! will do so soon.
we’d recently saved on, ohhh, about two diapers the past two days.
the first day, the lil one decided he wanted to have a dump in the toilet bowl. i wasn’t around to witness it, so it was a second-hand account by our current help. she’d smelled him, err, gassing, and asked if he’d like to use the potty. he nodded and she helped him onto the toilet bowl, and whaddayaknow…
i made a big deal out of it and went “WOW!!! GOOD BOY!!!” so he’d feel the sense of accomplishment of doing the do like the big boy that he is.
and last night, before bed, he’d had a bit of constipation and was a little teary coz it must’ve been discomforting, as he’d not gone the whole day. so the two of us got him to sit on his little potty, remember the blue one?, so it would make the elimination easier.
and just like expert lamaze coaches, we encouraged him to “push, aniq! PUSHHH… erk erkkkk… sikit lagi! dah nampak tuuu… come on! you can do it!”
imagine that, two adults squatting in the bathroom, akin to a labour ward, massaging the little one’s tummy and coaxing the stubborn poo out of him. very dignified, LOL!
he stood up halfway, upset because the poo was obviously stuck between two worlds (!!) and again, the midwives aka izadnhana made him sit down and continued cheering him (and the poo) on.
he gave a final red-faced push and we all, including him, peered down the potty and… what a relief (pun intended)! more rounds of cheers and claps ensued.
as we put him to bed, i told him that THAT was how mummy felt when she pushed him out of her. much, much more painful than that, and with less tears. this was nothing.
he must be thinking mummy pooed him out in a potty.
***
on a different note, i’ve been reading the ‘zero to three’ magazine again, and found some articles really interesting. (sheesh, what happened to girly fun mags like cosmo and cleo, hana?!)
this issue focused on childhood obesity, and some points i noted:
“Unlike adults, young children do not decrease their attention to TV during advertisements. This may make infants, toddlers, and preschoolers especially vulnerable to ads on TV at an age when food preferences and eating habits are forming rapidly. Indeed, watching a 30-second ad only 1 time increases a preschooler’s liking for the advertised product. Young children are bombarded with TV commercials for food: 2- to 5-year-old children see just under 5,500 commercials for food, or 30 hours of food advertising, each year, most of which are for foods high in saturated fat, sugar, and salt.
Many commercials use themes centered around taste, fun, and happiness, with a focus on branding. Branding is a form of marketing that promotes product recognition, which focuses on creating long-term consumers… Children as young as 2 years were able to recognise 8 out of 12 advertised brands, and their liking for recognised brands increased with age. Perhaps not surprisingly, young children will request more advertised food at home and at the grocery store, and parents are likely to comply with these requests.”
i think it’s true – kids are known to LOVE tv ads! even the little one is not spared, often stopping to intently watch the commercials, especially where kids are shown. one time i gave him a cup of jelly and he associated it with that ad where the kids sing “give me one, give me one, give me one more!”, and proceeded to sing along to it – “one more! one more!”
and whenever the honey stars or coco crunch cereal ad comes on, he’d get all excited and point, “NAK!”
of course, it’s cute that they have the ability to imitate, but hmm… there may be some subliminal ‘brainwashing’ thing going on coz then they instantly want all those things on tv instead of boring ol wheat crackers or vegetables. which of course leads to higher chances of obesity, or poor eating habits. :S
another article on eating and emotions in obese toddlers brought this to my attention:
“In addition to the negotiation of autonomy during feeding, infants also must learn to differentiate between internal sensations related to eating (hunger vs fullness) and emotional experiences (wish for affection, feelings of anger or frustration). It is, therefore, of utmost umportance that caregivers recognise the infant’s hunger and satiety cues and respond accordingly. For example, parents should offer food when the infant signals hunger and should not offer food when the infant is upset and needs affection or calming. Likewise, parents should end the meal when the infant is satiated and should not insist that the infant keep eating until the plate is empty.
If the parents consistently differentiate the infant’s hunger and satiety cues and respond appropriately, they will support the infant’s internal regulation of eating. The children will become attuned to internal sensations of hunger and fullness and will be able to tell the difference between these sensations and other internal sensations such as anger, sadness, and pleasure… However, if parents respond to their infant’s emotional needs by feeding the infant, the infant will confuse hunger with emotional experiences and will learn to eat when sad, lonely, frustrated, or angry.
Parents may also further blur the line between the child’s hunger sensations and emotions by trying to soothe the children through feeding them – that is, by using special foods (eg. sweets) as rewards or to express their love and nurturance.”
i think this probably explains why we have ‘comfort foods’ as adults, mostly in the form of ‘junk’ food, like ice cream and chips and chocolates! feeling depressed? let’s reach for that tub of ben & jerry’s…
i’m aware all along of how i shouldn’t force him to finish up his food if he didn’t feel like it. i always tell the helper to just stop giving him any more porridge if he doesn’t want anymore. sometimes i fall into the trap of ‘sayang makanan’ and try to coax one more scoop into his mouth, even though he’d shown signs of having enough. we always think it’s not enough! and sometimes i end up regretting, coz occasionally he’d throw up, and there goes all the food, much more of a waste. so i think there’s something to be said about kids and their “internal regulation of food”.
the article continues to say that restricting appealing foods focuses children’s attention on the restricted foods and increases their desire to obtain and consume those foods. of course, there has to be limitations! so i guess those “poks” and other bad stuff i give him occasionally are justified. (haha, making myself feel better here.)
“As his eighteenth month at Hana’s-warts School of Blogcraft and Blogwizardry approaches, Aniq Potter is in full-blown toddlerhood, complete with regular outbursts of rage (“Nak! NAAK!”), a nearly debilitating crush (more objects-falling-on-his-toes than the romantic kind), and the blooming of a powerful sense of rebellion (*self-explanatory*).
It’s been an infuriating and boring June holiday with his cousin, Dadam Dursley, their physical rows often leaving The Dark Mark on each other. Our hero has minimal contact from his non-Muggle friends from the magic playground world. Aniq is feeling especially edgy with the lack of new Sesame Street and Barney VCDs, always dreading when the evil Lord Zzzz will strike. There is even talk of a Dementor Mother with plans of training the young boy on a – gasp! – potty.
Returning to Hana’s-warts will be a ‘relief’ — or will it?”
39 visitors online now 2 guests, 37 bots, 0 members Max visitors today: 61 at 05:14 pm SGT This month: 61 at 07-02-2012 05:14 pm SGT This year: 65 at 21-01-2012 09:08 am SGT All time: 103 at 10-12-2011 05:33 am SGT
Entries (RSS)