on another note, they say we melayus are NOT making enough babies this year.

HUH? YOU SURE OR NOT??

TODAY reported that for the first time, Malays gave birth to fewer babies than were needed to replace their population last year. The replacement rate has been pegged at 2.1 and according to figures released yesterday, the fertility rate of Malays fell to 2.07… There were 37,500 births which is an increase of 0.9 per cent compared to 2004 but well below the 60,000 or so babies needed to replace the population.

so we need 60,000 or so babies, huh? hmm *whips out abacus*… that would take 60,000 wombs and eggs, or less if you factor in twins/triplets/sextuplets. oh, and a WHOLE LOTTA sperm. (but please eh, si dektu yang terperuk dalam jail, we don’t need anymore of yours, ok. sor-ry.)

and i thought we’re doing quite well, from the record number of babies i’ve visited and pregnancies (and re-pregnancies, if there’s such a word, heh) galore i’ve heard about this year alone.

after a whole year of repeatedly being asked when my next one will be, i may actually be running out of time and excuses.

speaking of which, my body has also sent me a “signal”. last friday, actually. the Full Moon FINALLY arrived, after a long period of absence. (or rather, a long absence of period, har har.)

it’s almost as if there’s an egg-timer (pun intended) in there or something. the timing really couldn’t be better, because we’d made a decision to start The Weaning Process right after his first birthday. periods, for the uninitiated, cause dips in milk supply, something i hadn’t gone through, thanks to the monthly no-shows this whole year.

so yeah, we’ll finally crack open our first tin of formula come monday (i think).

hmm, does it call for a celebration and fanfare, you think? ;p

i’m not sure how we’ll take to it, and which of us will have withdrawal symptoms. sometimes, it’s as if the boobies are his drugs. “macam ketagih,” says mum, chuckling as he buries his face on my chest after a day at work away from him, not about to be swayed by anyone else who tries to lure him off my lap.

who the “ketagih” one is, is your guess.

i remember writing that i wish for the day he’d run up to me when i come home from work and bulldoze me to the ground with a loud “MUMMY!”

i guess i got my wish after all. come 7pm, his oma would say out loud “mummy balik! mummy balik!”, he’d turn his head towards the door where i’ll be standing, and he’d scrunch up his face and grin before trotting over with a “mmMA!” and throw his arms around my legs.

the feeling is – FWAH.

so yeah, my one year of TBF – no regrets. at all.

sometimes i wonder, will i be able to do this all over again when the second (or third??) comes along? will i have the same energy and drive?

i have friends (and an aunt) who feel they’ve ‘shortchanged’ their subsequent children with a “penat lah, tak kuasa” stance, after they’ve been all gungho with TBF the first time round.

but, i guess i’ll only know when i cross the bridge.

meanwhile, honey… bottoms up!

and here’s to MORE melayu babies to come… watch out, chingjiapore! (which was really the original topic of this entry, wasn’t it?)

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my jaws dropped to the floor in disbelief when i read the article on BH’s front page today.

they’re still there somewhere on the floor right now.

a monster in the shape of man lives in our midst.

ten wives, thirty-three sixty-six children, and yet he still preys on his own daughters?

sick doesn’t even begin to describe the situation. Very Very Extremely sick, maybe.

a few pages down, another monster of the same kind lives, in another part of our earth.

scary stuff, the things you read in BH.

maybe someone could write and produce a film about this.

a malay version of ‘Silence of the Lambs’ or something.

‘jeritan sepi si anak-anak kambing’ has a nice ring to it.

(and no kak m, ‘anak kambing diam’ and ‘anak kambing bisu’ do NOT make the same impact.)

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It has been wildly and grossly reported on CNN (Celoteh-tak-tentu-pasal News Network) that there will be a GRAND, HUGE-ASS, GLITTERATI birthday party of EPIC PROPORTIONS happening in the eastern part of Singapore this coming December, akin to the recent weddings of TomKat, Datoks SK (no relations to chain of jewelry shops or almost-recalled beauty product endorsed by famous oriental star), and other small-time celebrities-tak-jadi of the Suria variety.

The Diaznadnaha investigating crew decided to dig deep into the heartlands to discover the awful truth and harsh reality behind this almost-scandalous piece of news, originated by an educator-by-day, amateur-roving-reporter-with-bad-spelling-by-night, Mie Bte Suv.

This is what they found…

1) Talks are in session with well-loved chef, Yua (not, as erroneously reported, some other chef called Naa, whoever that is), on the design of an appropriate confectionary for the celebration of one-year-old, Iqan, which does NOT include extreme amounts of sugared icing on little cakes placed in little cups, otherwise known as Cupcakes. (It is agreed upon, too, that the public should be warned of the proliferation of such sweet offerings to small children, as well as adults, as they may cause bad teeth and bad karma. Also, if you are being charged $400 for a bunch of them, you’re being s-w-i-n-d-l-e-d, honey. But that’s another newsworthy report altogether.)

2) A group of Actual Friends of the said birthday child’s parents have responded positively to the modest celebration taking place. They include a mix of relatives, as well as non-internet-savvy and internet-friendly people (or iFriends). Some of these iFriends are Real People, who have, over time, established Real Connections with one another in the Real World. These iFriends are a few amongst those who played a part in the mother’s journey during her fiercely-protected pregnancy, as well as her journey through a year of motherhood, by dispensing good wishes, advice, listening ears, and lots of love. They have met, cuddled, kissed, hugged, and shared in the joy of the growth and development of Iqan, from the moment he was born into the world. (They are also known not to launch attacks on the parents, virtually or otherwise.) The guest list is kept to a minimum and is currently undisclosed. However, it is known that Ms Mie “Know-it-all” Suv, is unfortunately not invited as she is, as she declares, merely a “casual observer”. Not that she cares, of course, as she herself will probably throw a first party for her own cute and adorable child a few months down the road, with no invited guests of course.

3) The boy’s much-adored aunt, ifzahurnah, will be presenting Iqan with a drum set. (This part of the reporting is, amazingly, correct.)

4) No expensive presents are sought after or expected from gorgeous lady in uniform, Naihar – only her precious presence is. That, money can’t buy. As it stands, ten out of eleven minutes are still owed to Naihar, for free manhandling (toddlerhandling?) of Iqan. Flight schedules are a bitch. Or so we heard.

5) Iqan’s father will not be showering him with gifts. This includes ridiculous gadgets, like iSomething or iOther. (On a side note, Apple interns should be fired for not knowing their products.) The father will be showering lots of lurve on the child, by arranging the food for the day, and at the same time, contributing to the community. (This, too, a newsworthy report for another day.)

6) The allegedly grandiose party will be held in an undisclosed open venue which costs the hosts a grand total of $60/-, including electricity and running water (and a whole lotta running-around space). The parents of the boy Iqan are, as you can tell, hopeless cheapskates, which was also the reason why they did not hold their wedding at a nice hotel. Then again, as they say, “damned if you do, damned if you don’t”. Right, Naihar? har har! Oh, it is also noted that no FDWs will be made to clean up. Only Banglas, for which they will be paid through the Town Council.

7) Babies will be, without a doubt, the highlight of the day. Babies, be they twins, triplets, or sextuplets, are lovely creatures, worthy of being celebrated for their mere creation and existence. All babies will be put in a circus-like ring to be duly admired on that day. Those who do not coo accordingly for an equal amount of time at each and every baby present will have their heads and reproductive systems chopped off.

8 ) Due to the impending bonus and generally generous moods, Iqan will likely enjoy his loot. The child’s parents have little control over this, except to answer to those who’ve made queries, that gifts, if any, should not endorse violence, be too bulky, or non-age-appropriate. Guests should not feel burdened – we have exclusive news that this will be the only time in many years to come where his age will be celebrated, the next one being 16. (Though by then, he’ll be too teenager to even want one by his parents, ho ho.)

9) The abovementioned bonus, plus the mother’s shrewd thriftiness, will go to paying for her only child’s first birthday. Part of her bonus will also be disbursed to all parties involved in the caregiving of Iqan, such as the grandmother and the helper. (Must declare publicly hor? Like public taxpayers’ monies liddat.)

This is a post done tongue-in-cheek style. So let’s all learn to laugh at ourselves. And if you can decipher all the anagrams of the names… you should REALLY get a life.

:D

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occasionally i plod through ST for a change, when i’ve had enough of BH’s splash of gory pictures of people with scary diseases and deformities (usually in some remote village in malaysia) or even more gory stories of rape and incest (also usually in some remote village in malaysia). :O

[btw, what's with the Suria Raya Live-bashing lately in BH's forum pages ah? aiyah, raya over liao, maafkan saja lah! next year tak buat lagi, ok? but remember eh, cannot anyhow put happy, pretty people to prance around on stage in glittery costumes before raya, very tak ramadhan rocks.]

anyway, where was i?

oh yes, ST.

last week, someone wrote in a forum letter on the lack of nursing facilities in the workplace for new mothers.

Nov 2, 2006
Why no room to pump milk for new mothers?

I SPOKE to two women recently. One is a new mother back at work from maternity leave. The other is pregnant and her baby is due next month.

They don’t know each other but face the same problem: No private room in the workplace to pump breast milk for their babies.

Obviously they need privacy to do this, a mother’s duty. One of the women has supportive colleagues who let her use their office to pump her milk.

The mother-to-be said her office colleagues had repeatedly requested through the staff suggestion scheme for a room for breast-feeding mothers to pump milk.

But the higher management lacked either the resources or the initiative to deal with the matter, as nothing had been done yet on the suggestion.

The management said it was still looking into it.

This situation is common in many workplaces. One of the women works in a statutory board while the other works in a government ministry. This is what motivates me to write this letter.

The Singapore Government has in the recent years been working very hard to encourage a higher birth rate through the implementation of various policies. It wants married couples to produce more babies to augment an ageing population.

While the five-day work week for civil servants and statutory board employees was a great example of the Government ‘walking the talk’, it should also lead by example to provide facilities such as private rooms for mothers to pump their milk.

While it is good to see policies being implemented to make Singapore a more conducive place for couples to start a family, it is also important to ensure that the official message on the joys of parenthood is consistent with the government’s actions.

This means that those who take up parenthood should have adequate support from the Government.

To this end, it may now be necessary for the Government to take the lead in ensuring that the higher management in the Civil Service and statutory boards find creative ways to support new mothers in their new responsibilities, in order to encourage private employers to follow suit.

Ngiam Hui-Shin (Ms)

ahh! a topic close to my heart (literally – *feels boobs*). not that i have a problem myself, being employed in a, ahem, family-friendly organisation and fairly supported by colleagues who are all aware of my ‘extra-curricular activity’. they all go “eh, you got go *makes squeezing gestures* already?”. and it’s not just the girls, but the guys too, lol! even my very male boss enquires about my progress occasionally and gives words of encouragement. it’s quite… surreal, to say the least. :D

and then today, more BF militants have joined in the call.

Nov 7, 2006
Female employees should have a right to nurse their baby

I APPLAUD Ms Ngiam Hui Shin’s suggestion that management of public and private organisations reserve designated rooms for nursing mothers among their employees to pump milk for their babies (‘Why no room for new mothers to pump milk?’; ST, Nov 2).

This straightforward arrangement – a clean, dry, private room with a lockable door, table, chair and power socket – follows logically from the Government’s pro-family stance, and the slew of policies and schemes for working parents.

I appreciate the plight of the two mothers Ms Ngiam highlighted in her letter. I am a nursing mother myself. I have been expressing milk for my baby for the past five months since I returned to work from maternity leave.

I work in the business school of a local university and am blessed with bosses and colleagues who are supportive of my needs. I am fortunate to have a room of my own at work, and with that, the liberty to express milk for my baby three times a day in this room while checking e-mail and making business phone calls.

Yet, because this is not an official arrangement, it does not assuage my constant anxiety that this privilege can be rescinded at any time.

I appeal for this privilege to be made a right for nursing female employees, because a nursing employee is usually a happy employee, confident of the physical and emotional well-being of her child. Knowing she is assured of a lactation facility when she needs it gives her peace of mind to focus on her work. She will be grateful that her employer is provides for an important aspect of her (and her child’s) welfare, and motivated to work all the harder. I know I am.

It is a fact universally acknowledged that breastfed babies are generally healthy, happy and smart and grow up to be healthy adults and workers. From the point of view of national health and productivity, it pays for all employers, including the Government, to accede to the needs of nursing employees.

Mary Lee Ching Ling (Ms)

Nov 7, 2006
Give nursing mums time off to pump their milk

I REFER to the letter, ‘Why no room to pump milk for new mothers?’ by Ms Ngiam Hui Shin (ST, Nov 2).

This subject is close to my heart as I nursed my elder son for more than two years and am now nursing my six-month-old son. I fully agree that with the call for more babies, the Government should give new mothers all the help they need to fulfil their role as mothers. Providing a nursing room in the workplace is a big step towards helping them juggle two roles, as dedicated employees as well as dedicated mums.

With increasing awareness of the benefits of breastfeeding, it is heartening to know there are a lot of employers who provide nursing rooms for employees. Some companies have the works, providing employees with everything they need from a conducive environment to a pump, a refrigerator to store breastmilk and ice packs, a sink to wash up and some, even a steriliser to sterilise pump equipment after use. On the other hand, some companies just provide a basic room. However, speaking from experience, I believe any mother will be grateful for a room simply with a table and chair.

However, it doesn’t matter if the company provides these facilities for employees. The most important thing is that the bosses of nursing mothers are understanding enough to allow them to take a little time off during the workday to pump. A nursing room is really of no use if the boss is discouraging and frowns when the employee uses it or insists she pump during lunchtime. One has to remember that pumping is like answering the call of nature. Sometimes, the nursing mother really cannot wait. To maintain a steady supply, she has to pump as often as possible at the same time every day.

I am not asking employers to allow the nursing mother to be away for long periods of time to pump and effectively not do any work at all. Usually, each pump session lasts only about 20 minutes or at most, half an hour.

All this is really give and take. I believe nursing mothers will work harder at other times of the day because they know they have to take time off to pump. As a result, they may even be more efficient compared to other employees.

It is widely known that breastfed babies have better immunity systems and fall sick less often, which means mothers do not have to take leave so often – which benefits the company. Not allowing nursing mothers to pump when they need to will give them undue stress which will affect their milk supply.

Lotus Ren (Ms)

it’s a start, but those of you working nursing mums out there who have been sneaking off for furtive pumps in dirty toilets or tiny store rooms under the wary eyes of colleagues or employers, i besiege beseech you – circulate these articles to them!

and of course, also those of you who are about to give birth or go back to work. hey, must provide ready infrastructure for when you come back from maternity leave mah. ;)

ok, go!

***

addendum (tak habis-habis addendum):

whaddayaknow! BH (9 Nov) pun ada artikel tentang SB (alah, you know, the melayu equivalent of BM)…

SUSU BADAN
Tugas bersama

Suami tidak harus lepas tangan dan biarkan kaum ibu tangani masalah sendiri

By Dr Zainal Muttakin Abdul Rahman

MEMBERIKAN susu ibu mungkin disifatkan sebagai tugas kaum ibu di seluruh dunia. Namun, peranan golongan ayah sebenarnya tidak kurang pentingnya.

Ayah tidak boleh bersikap lepas tangan dan membiarkan kaum ibu menanganinya sendirian.

Sebaik-baiknya, bakal ibu dan ayah harus berbincang semasa ibu itu hamil mengenai soal penyusuan.

Pasangan hendaklah bersetuju mengenainya kerana ia bukanlah tanggungjawab ibu seorang sahaja.

Cuba bincangkan tentang jangka masa ibu akan memberikan bayi susu badan iaitu sekurang-kurangnya enam bulan untuk menetapkan matlamat jangka pendek.

Golongan ayah memainkan peranan penting dalam membantu ibu yang menyusukan bayi agar beliau dapat berehat, memastikan pemakanan beliau terjaga dan berikanlah dorongan agar beliau tidak begitu tertekan.

Jauhi daripada menggunakan ungkapan seperti ‘susu ibu tidak cukup’ atau ‘tidak sedap’ atau ‘bayi tidak suka menyusu daripada ibu’ dan sebagainya.

Ini kerana menyusukan bayi mungkin mudah buat sesete ngah ibu tetapi bagi yang lain, ia merupakan satu perjalanan yang amat mencabar.

Yang penting, pasangan hendaklah bersabar terutama sekali pada tahap-tahap awal ketika ibu mula memberikan bayi susu badan.

Sekiranya proses memberikan susu ibu masih terus bermasalah, keputusan untuk menghentikan pemberian susu badan sebaik-baiknya dibuat secara bersama setelah suami isteri saling berbincang.

Setelah keputusan dibuat, usahlah menuding jari antara satu dengan lain. Pada saat inilah, si ibu kadangkala berasa lebih tertekan dan mengalami kemurungan.

Suami hendaklah faham akan perasaan isteri yang mungkin berasa serba salah dan mengalami rasa rendah diri. Ramai ibu yang mengalami masalah sebegini.

Terdapat banyak isu dan rintangan yang ibu akan hadapi sepanjang usahanya untuk memberikan bayi kesayangan khasiat susu ibu yang memang cukup bermanfaat.

Ia termasuk bagaimana ibu dapat terus menyusukan bayi setelah mula bekerja, bilakah masa yang sesuai untuk memberikan susu ibu daripada botol, bolehkah ibu terus menyusukan bayi apabila ibu jatuh sakit dan bagaimanakah cara menghentikan anak daripada terus menyusu setelah usia dua tahun.

Semua ini mampu mencabar kekuatan si ibu.

Sebenarnya, baik jika pasangan suami isteri itu sama-sama mengikuti kursus antenatal (semasa mengandung dan sebelum melahirkan).

Dari situ, mereka akan mendapat nasihat dan tunjuk ajar daripada pakar penyusuan (lactation consultant) yang mampu mempersiapkan diri mereka sebelum bayi lahir.

Untuk membantu ibu bapa mendapatkan jawapan berhubung pemberian susu ibu, saya sarankan anda merujuk laman web http://www.kkh.com.sg/PatientHealthLibrary/WomensHealth/Breastfeeding atau http://www.breastfeeding.org.sg/ .

ahh, yang ini boleh circulate to your suamis or, if you rather, DHs.

selamat menyusu!

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so did you read BH yesterday? with hmm, six more days to raya, they finally came up with a throwaway article about b/feeding during puasa. about keeping at it, not giving up, etc.

and the best advice they could dish out?

“drink lots of water”.

like, WOAAAHHH. what earthshattering, groundbreaking, gasp-inducing advice indeed. gee why didn’t i think of thaaat. (can you see my eyes rolling?)

ok. enough cynicism.

on a more positive note, the bf thing throughout the fasting month has gone better than we expected. i probably used up all of, er, four? five? bags of my frozen stash so far. i’ll have to get around to dumping out all the leftover july ones. i’ll stroke them lovingly first, of course.

right. moving on.

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another baby A has arrived!

an addition to our burgeoning 77clan. :)

so now we have aniq… adam… adil… and arshad.

who’s up next?? ;D

*blows babydust*

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