dear diddy,

for all the diapers you’ve changed…
for all the psp games you downloaded for me…
for all the silly things you put in my head…
for all the scolding you rarely did…

i present to you, a little card i (sorta) made myself in school!

(ok fine, so teacher helped me.)

they say i take after your “naughtiness” when you were small.

i wonder if it’s true.

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it’s gonna be a super day today, i hope…

who knows, maybe i’ll save the world!

then again, being a villain and causing mayhem and destruction is kinda cool too.

hey, they don’t call my newly-acquired age the Terrible Twos for nuthin, right? MUAHAHAHA! *evil mirthless laughter*

to be continued…

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hola!

first and foremost, thank you to the uncle for the airwave offer, but the parents already parted with babycolt (and some $) on this new baby some time back.

i’d wave my hand in the air to you, like my parents had suggested i do, but that’d just be too corny, like them.

anyway, did daddy mention that he’s been running? yeah, he’s grown a little obsessed with it. so much so that he’s going to run in the standard chartered singapore marathon on the 2nd of december.

it’s funny listening to the parents’ conversation as we went to suntec to collect the race entry pack. it goes something like this:

M: “you mean, you have to PAY to run?”
D: “yaaaah.”
M: “but whyy?? THEY should pay YOU to run, what.”
D: “aiyah, you don’t understand. you’re not a sports person…”
M: “ah, you don’t exert yourself eh. aniq still needs a father ok.”
D: “no lah, i’m not there to win, i just want to complete the run.”
etc.

needless to say, mummy won’t be cheerleading at the sidelines again, however scenic the route, coz the run starts at 6.15am, which is not her best time to look remotely alive. but i know she secretly wishes daddy the best, and that daddy’s looking fitter these days… (don’t ask how i know what she secretly thinks!)

i also heard that there’s a Kids Dash, which is for kids (duh!) aged 13 and below, with, get this, no minimum age limit! which means *i* can run my own marathon as well. the parents reckon i’d do well, and i don’t think it’s just coz i look ‘dashing’, ha ha. (sorry, i got the corny genes from them.)

ohh but i think i’d much rather go for THIS sport – Combat Skirmish! GUNS!!! now THIS is my kinda thang, i tell ya… :D

*rat-a-tat-a-tat-tat-tat!!*

let’s hope the parents will bring me to esplanade park on 22nd dec, coz there’s an event there that day and i can get to play with more guns. but daddy isn’t keen though, he thinks we shouldn’t encourage violence and killing. and i thought mummy was bad, hmph. but reaaallly, i dunno, there’s just SOMETHING about guns that brings excitement to little boys like me, i can’t explain it. and i also don’t know why i keep wanting the BIGGER guns. (now don’t start with the mambo-jumbo about ‘phallic symbols’ and ‘fixations’, eh.)

the last stop for the day was my own doing, coz i wandered into the hair salon while mummy was in another shop.

the barber didn’t want to take any more customers, but seeing how shaggy my hair was, he propped me onto a chair before mummy even stepped into the salon and turned on Power Rangers on vcd after consulting with me on the various choices available for viewing – COOL! i didn’t even notice what was going on with my hair, like, whatever dude.

ok. that’s all. ended the day with me sleeping in the car, as usual.

so, have a good week ahead, all you old people who have to work! ttfn.

*waves hand in the air*

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if you ask me where my drumsticks are, i’ll tell you they’re OUTSIDE the window. yeah, yeah, so i flung them out, in one of my experiments to see whether drumsticks could fly. (and i tell you, they can’t, not even the fried chicken kind.)

so, since i still have musical ambitions, i had to modify, and made do with my xylophone sticks instead. they’re *almost* the same, but not quite. (you can’t dig your nose as well with xylophone sticks, as i found out.)

anyway, i heard that megadeth was coming to singapore, so i thought i’d step up on my drumming skills and did some intensive practicing. who knows, maybe i could apply to be the backup drummer should theirs dislocate his shoulders, or get a heart attack and keel over just before the show (well, they ARE very old, or so i heard), or have a bad bout of stomachache from the spicy seafood at newton.

and then, mum had to burst my bubble by telling me that i was too late and they’d already performed last night! sheeesh. well hey, there’s still that other grandpa band, black sunday or sabbath or something, right?

speaking of bands in black, i also heard that My Chemical Romance is coming in december! the day AFTER my birthday, to be exact. fwah! maybe i could get a ticket as a birthday present! (please? pweety please??)

or better still, if i could somehow spike the drummer’s laksa or mee pok with extra cili padi just before the show…

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i guess mummy has mentioned my spiderman stunt the other day with my cot bed. well, it’s ABOUT TIME those two did something about it! they’re such procrastinators, i swear.

they brought me to look-see toddler beds the other day, but eventually postponed any purchase, even though i’d shown my clear preference for a particular one with a cool canopy over it. i think they’re waiting for me to offer my duit raya to them. HAH! wait long long, hor.

meanwhile, diddy attempted to do the macho thing by converting my cot bed into a junior bed, but, err, let’s just say, some things just aren’t meant to be. (hmph, he really should take up some handyman workshop or something… oops, sowie diddy! you da bomb, ok! selamat hari raya, maaf zahir batin, halalkan makan minum, teruskan tukar my diaper selalu, etc…)

so, he gave up and now, i’m as good as sleeping on a mattress on the floor! which is just as well, i guess, coz i get to literally JUMP into bed, plus, i get to bring ALL my toy friends and books to sleep with me. naturally, mummy nagged at me, saying there won’t be any space for me to actually sleep with so much things in my bed. sheesh. party pooper.

the morning after, diddy said he found me on the floor…

SURE OR NOT?! that’s like telling me i snore in my sleep – it’s simply NOT true, i tell you!

ahh, that’s more like it. and all crumpled and messy, with mismatched pillows, just the way i like it.

ouh, and mummy says it’s a good thing i haven’t been found “sleepwalking” so far.

(but i’m just lulling her into believing that for now. hurhur.)

in any case, i’m STILL waiting for that proper tod bed, hokay?!

and don’t you touch my duit raya… “neeeq nye!”

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she calls herself a (faux) SAHM, sheesh! well, what’s harder is being a SAHC – Stay-At-Home-Child!

i mean, look at the multitude of chores i do everyday.

i cook…

i clean…

and because i’m the obliging child that i am, i even let mummy play dress-up with me. she has sharleez-envy, i tell you!

oh well. at least i have daddy to keep me balanced. he who puts me in football jerseys and make me sit with him to watch football matches.

speaking of which, mummy finally figured out what i’ve been saying all these while (or perhaps, i finally hit the right notes), so i’ve been repeating it to her daily. my sentence goes like this:

“IKIKDABOWWWLLL!!”

of course i’m saying “i kick the ball!”, and now she finally understands me. it helps that she stayed a whole week at home with me to help me refine my proclamation of ball-kicking, and that i emphasise it with the action itself.

other than that, i also delighted her one morning by referring to myself as “a-neeek!”, though occasionally i prefer “nik-niiik!” coz it’s much more fun. she’s trying to brainwash me into answering people should they ask “what’s your name?”, but huh, we’ll see about that.

i’m also adept at saying “i shleeep!” and “i sheeet!”, the second of course does not mean a poo-poo, as you would think, but rather the act of sitting on a chair or the floor.

i could go on a bit and blow my own trumpet (which i can too, literally, with my toy trumpet) but it’s sunday and there isn’t much time left to wrestle and smother mummy with my most disgusting saliva-filled smooches. so that’s on top of my agenda today, as i’m sure is hers too.

ouhh, i smell daddy’s porridge rice and fishball soup in the kitchen. (yup, mummy gave up the whole cooking thing just after one day, ha ha.)

so, selamat berpuasa everibodeee… (nyeh nyeh!)

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i saw all those people on teevee waving that red and white thing, so i quickly ran to my room and got mine too!

red and, err, yellow flag!

the marching and the guns and the planes were all very exciting, weren’t they??

mummy thinks i have a ‘very high level of testosterone’ in me, whatever that is, coz i like things like that. you know, trucks and cranes and trains and motorbikes. i don’t know why, somehow steel and metal monstrosities are just so… mesmerising. and not to mention nice and noisy! BRRRMMMM BRRMMMM….

so diddy, can you get me a toy crane, pleeeeze??

(a toy gun would be nice too, but i won’t let mummy know ok, shhhh…)

“DOOF! DOOF!”

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we spent the whole afternoon watching animals on tuesday.

it’s my second time visiting the zoo, courtesy of daddy’s Organisation. (you wait and see where else we went for free!)

anyway, i couldn’t remember much from my first visit, but this time round, i get it.

all those funny-looking creatures i’ve been seeing in books (like my Topsy and Tim book) and on tv (like Animal Planet) and oh, heard of in songs (like Old Macdonald), they actually exist and aren’t some made-up things by the adults! :p

i see a lot of resemblance between the animals and humans like me.

for instance, see this tiger? that’s how my teeth look like, i swear!

but unlike the tiger, i don’t show them off voluntarily, even not to my own mummy, who has to pry open my mouth everytime she wants to count my teeth. well, it doesn’t help that she usually attempts it when i’m busy munching on my snacks.

now, look at those zebras. see how we have similar tastes in outfits? stripes, yo!

but of course, black and white is a tad too boring, so i would really recommend the zebras to jazz up their look once in a while, mix and match a bit, say, green and pink, orange and purple, that sorta thing.

next, the sea-lion. all i can say is – I FEEL FOR YA, BRUDDER! i know what it’s like, having to perform in front of an audience, seeking approval and applause each time. and i too emphathise when you took your time to do the tricks and made a few boo-boos on purpose. but i really gotta learn from you how to balance on your flippers like that. (i wonder too if the fishy treats they throw at you taste as good as the coco crunch mummy throws at me. mmm…)

and of course, there’s the monkeys! the baby monkey’s like me, mummy and daddy say. i guess what they mean is, they’re cute like me?? or maybe it’s the way i climb all over and cling onto mummy just like the baby monkeys do with their mummy monkeys. or maybe i’m hairy like them. or err…

the baby monkey and i are both curious lil fellas who like to reach out and touch things?

ouhh, the baby goats, my favourite. now this one’s easy – we both drink the same milk! :D

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can you tell i’ve been busy?

i’d like to thank unty misa very much for recommending this place! thankfully, it only cost me $6 to play for an unlimited time, since i’m not two years old yet. my folks say maybe they should leave me here the whole day because of the unlimited access, and i could have my meals and naps and baths in between all that playing. hey, sounds like a fabulous idea to me! :p

mum initially meant to do her nails at the indoor nail spa (a nail spa within an indoor playground?! that’s just radical, man…) but she ended up getting her nails even more ragged from running and climbing about in the play area with daddy and me.

oh, and not to mention PELTING PLASTIC BALLS AT ME!!

wth?!

anyway, speaking of radical, hullo, mr ben & mr jerry. your quaint and cosy ice-cream parlour next door sure beats boring ol’ mr haagen daazs’ anytime. there’s even a kids’ drawing room in there, like, how thoughtful, right?

and so wraps up the second day of our so-called ‘holiday’.

needless to say, i was pooped and turned in early, just as my old folks had planned. and what did they do then? why, they had their long-awaited dvd marathon till the wee hours of the morning, what else!

bah, these couch potato adults…

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this month, i didn’t see abang dadam very much, but when we do, rest assured we get along REAALLLY well.

if you can call hitting, beating, pulling, pushing, and general bullying each other ‘getting along’. hehe.

we had a belated father’s day for opa, who kept wanting to eat at han river in eastpoint. he’s always craving for buffets, my opa. the other day we brought him to sakura at downtown east, but he couldn’t get enough. despite all he eats, he’s skin and bones. it’s hard getting opa around these days, he has his own stroller which is much bigger than mine. the wheels on his stroller are huge too! he needs two people to carry him from his stroller. i suppose that’s coz he’s much heavier than me. it only takes one person to carry me, but even that person (ie. mummy) complains after ten seconds and shoves me at daddy.

anyway, in the evening of my first day of the so-called ‘holiday’ that mummy and daddy have declared, they took me to…

the moon!!

or so i was led to believe.

daddy got a discount for the trip to the moon via the DHL balloon. i don’t think he could afford what NASA charges for the trip on their rocket. did i mention that the balloon is REALLY giganormous?? it was bigger than daddy’s head, even!

we were almost reaching the moon, what with the strong gust of wind blowing us up higher and higher, but it hung frozen halfway during our journey! i didn’t mind though, coz not only did we have a mesmerising view of the shimmering lights from below plus the cool air, there were fireworks just across the sky, bursting in colourful sparks at the same moment we were up there!

the fireworks lit the sky in thunderous glory. wow. i can tell mummy loves fireworks very muchly. she kept going “WAHH!!” like a little schoolgirl. me? i hung on to mummy for dear life, like a little schoolboy teehee. (shhhh…)

and yeah, that’s how the first day of my so-called ‘holiday’ started.

with a right bang!

oh, and i guess i’ll take a rain check on that trip to the moon. i’m sure NASA’s price will drop soon.

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now, give me some ice-cream.

(*is it too much to hope for mr ben or mr jerry to see this and give me a free pint?)

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mrs esah solis attempted to seduce me by first luring me to her house for an intimate dinner for two…

what? no candlelights?

i gallantly offered to help her clean up after the meal. i have, after all, had experience as her gardener, mowing the front lawn of her house. so this was nothing, really.

my mommy taught me to use the wet wipes well, mrs solis.

she then instructed me to change into something “more comfortable”. i obliged. she seemed quite… ecstatic. the kitchen floor, mrs solis? well, if you insist…

who let the dogs out!

she wrapped me in an amorous embrace, and that was it – resistance was futile!

i’m too sexy for this romper.

oh well, what can i say…

ps: dear mr fadz solis, apparently your wife is not only a lesbian, she is also a cradle-snatcher. please don’t beat me up. thank you.

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“diddy” (that’s what i call him now, yo! is that hip hop or what?) is not as tok selampit as mummy, but he’s getting there…

mummy said he used to tell her stories ALL the time when they were dating. i wonder what kind of stories they were. i’m sure they were not of the ‘goldilocks and the three bears’ kind, though. hehe.

we were at a reading festival (no, no, not THE coolest annual music festival in england – speaking of which, omg, look at their lineup this year! a reunited smashing pumpkins, arcade fire, bloc party, interpol, waaah… ok, digressing.)

it was an attempt to get 10,000 diddies to read to their little ones. i think they were trying to break a guinness record or something, though looking at the grey weather and sloshy grounds at east coast that day, i think they should have been less ambitious and tried for 1,000.

ah well. what can i say about the attitudes of diddies in our country? work, work, work. maybe they would be better off reading to us their work reports. or better still, the newspapers. or even better still, blogs! haha!

perhaps the event needed some star appeal, like brad pitt reading to shiloh, and tom cruise reading to suri… (then you’ll get even MORE than 10,000 – mummies, that is!)

or ouhh, how about david beckham reading to brooklyn and romeo?

urm, ok, maybe not. :p

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mum had her fun celebrating some aunties’ birthday the other night.

WITHOUT ME, can you believe the nerve?? hmph!

but looking at her pictures, maybe i was better off with daddy and yai. i didn’t see any balloons or balls at her party, so it must’ve been downright dull. pbfftt.

so anyways, she more than made up for it coz she thereafter not only brought me to one birthday party, but TWO!

and they were really my kinda party. not only were there balloons and balls, there were also boogie-ing and babes! woohoooo…

the last time i went to kakak iman’s birthday party, mum dressed me up in a bear romper coz The Theme was animals. thank goat this time she didn’t make me wear some other kiddy outfit.

BUT! for my brudders, damdil’s birthday, she was at it again, dressing me up to follow The Theme. she and unty nur attempted to stick something on my arms, but they didn’t succeed, and eventually settled on my leg. it looked like a creepy-crawley, which incidentally is also the name of some ancient rock band. according to mum, they had long hair and wore tight pants. scorpions, i believe…? thankfully, my hair isn’t long, and my bulging diapers prevented any possibilities of donning tight pants, phew.

hmm… somehow, i have a feeling mummy thinks the parties were also for her. she was boogie-ing and rock-ing along like there’s no tomorrow and all.

oi mum! these parties are for little people like me, ok? please stick to your boring ones with the aunties! :p

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