“Silence and solitude are universally recognized spiritual practices, and there are good reasons for this. Learning how to discipline your speech is a way of preventing your energies from spilling out of you through the rupture of your mouth, exhausting you and filling the world with words, words, words instead of serenity, peace and bliss.”

and that’s how it feels like exactly, rupturing out of my mouth – exhausting.

i’d dived into liz gilbert’s ‘eat pray love’ with little expectations that it would create even the tiniest affect on me, yet it surprised me with the little nuggets of wit, wisdom, and colourful descriptions that she served among the pages of her constant neuroses, self-absorbed whines, and incessant prattle on self-discovery.

(i’m still midway through the book, so i don’t know how she ends up. well, other than being extremely rich, with an A-list hollywood star to act as her in the movie to boot.)

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bedtime conversations sometimes meander into the mystical (oftentimes murky, in my case), realms of the theological…

A: “Tuhan… Tuhan is… everywhere?”
M: “yes, EVERYWHERE!”
A: “Tuhan is here? in the room? on my bed?”
M: “yesss, he’s EVERYWHERE, aniq.”
A: “everywhere? inside the body? inside my heart also?”
M: *pause – i never thought he would think of his heart, or his body for that matters, as a physical residence, but…* “YES, of course he’s inside your heart, to protect you. that’s why you don’t need to be scared when you sleep! see, you are not alone, because he’s always watching you. you just say Bismillahirahmanirahim and don’t worry, no bad dreams, no nightmares. just say that before you sleep. (and must wash feet also.)”
A: *thinks* “then, Tuhan got watch tv or not?”
M: “no lahhh, how can he watch tv? he has to watch everyone. EVERYONE, aniq! how is he going to watch you, and auni, and mummy, and daddy, and your friends, and everybody if he’s watching tv??”
A: “ohhh. then can teach me how to say again… bis-mi-yah…?”

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