a lot of things have been happening lately.

amongst which, the frequent trips to the hospital has resumed.

CAT scans and what-nots. more drugs, more tubes, more senseless mumblings from the patient. (he keeps saying he’s falling, and he wants to go to penang, and other baffling stuff.)

apologies to those we’d promised to contribute to for the orphans’ outings, you know who you are. hope we can redeem ourselves another time.

will update with happy things. soon!

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it started with my body, especially the tummy area, which had grown out of proportion suddenly, in what seemed like mere days, jutting out unnaturally especially after a meal. even the areas around the hip and the back had packed on more meat than usual. weird, i thought. and i thought i’d been trying successfully to cut down on lunches lately.

lethargy then set foot, the overwhelming tendency to sleep or languish in bed or on the sofa. but i dismissed it as my then-depressed frame of mind, due to work matters. (i STILL am depressed at the thought.)

then the funny taste in the mouth, especially after having a meal of rice. that familiar metallic/chalky taste.

the burps, in increasing amounts.

and the threats of heartburn. that choked up feeling at the back of the throat, and the what seems to be perpetual hunger, which is rarely sated.

so when we popped by the pharmacy one night, i saw a two-for-one sale for the in-house brand of HPTs – only $4.95! – and grabbed it, making sure i had it hidden from sight from other customers. i don’t know why, but i thought it embarrasing to be seen holding HPTs while pushing a little toddler, barely two of age, as if i was being judged for careless family planning.

not that it wasn’t planned, really. i mean, we’d meant to have another one and all, of course. and some time within this year too. i’d actually ideally wanted to have this happen in november, so that it’ll come out in august next year, the same birth month as the daddy, to complement the first bub who has the same birth month as me.

we thought, with increasing age and our previous track record, we’d give it perhaps a three-month TTC window. ha ha. so much for that.

jackpot!

the first thing i thought was, “wait, didn’t we only just did it… err.. a few days ago or something??”

seriously. it was… puzzling.

so that was a monday night. i’d peed on one of the buy-one-get-one-free sticks, and both lines instantly appeared, very dark. thinking it was a faulty piece (thus the dodgy buy-one-get-one-free lelong), i peed on another one. again i watched as the wet streak made two dark lines.

and then i shouted out to the spouse.

“look! i think something’s wrong!”

he looked, and went “yey!”

it just kept getting weirder and weirder, i tell ya.

i made an appointment for our beloved tried-and-tested gynae for a saturday, and vowed to keep mum (again) this time round. though, i’m not sure how long i can keep up the charade though, coz from the looks of it, and i’m talking about my four-month-preggers belly, it won’t be long before they guess.

****

the day of the appointment came, and everything was, well, blase. it’s funny that we weren’t in awe or in terrible excitement, like we were the first time round when all this happened. i went in, took my weight (45.1kg), they pulled out my records, and we waited.

for two hours, that is, being a saturday. we had an active toddler this time round to make things ‘interesting’ though, so we ran around after him and he amused himself by playing with the bigger kids, as usual.

the check showed that the waterbag is present, and junior is still basically the size of a grain of rice, according to the doc.

“five weeks,” he proclaimed.

“huh?? are you sure??”

i counted back.

“i must have been unconscious when it happened, then!”

(yes, i said that out aloud.)

anyways, i haven’t told my mum yet. even after the checkup. i’m not sure i want to so soon yet, knowing her reaction would be one of concern and worry.

we’ll see.

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