both of us were at a mcdonalds in the heartlands yesterday, and while munching on the salad (yeah i know, what kind of mcfreak eats a salad at a fast food joint, right?) our attention was drawn to a middle-aged couple (and by middle-aged, i mean, older than us, ha ha) with two young kids, looking for seats. they seemed harried and dishevelled.
our first impression was, what stern-looking parents they are.
and well, we were right.
they sat at the central table and before we knew it, the father had whipped out a classic rattan cane from god-knows-where, and started threatening the two little boys to behave.
the surrounding patrons and us peeped from over our shoulders at the ‘circus’ or ‘lion taming act’, trying hard not to seem bemused. a group of makciks at one table were even chuckling and shaking their heads, more at the antics of the older boy, whom by now had started running around the table in circles, agitating his cane-wielding father even more. he kept rapping the cane on the table and chair, and i think, even the floor, both him and his wife scolding loudly for all to hear. the ringmasters, ladies and gentlemen! 
i asked izad just how effective it was to bring a cane along everywhere you go, just to scare your children into submission. judging from the boys’ behaviour, it didn’t seem to work that well. after a while, or perhaps after wood came into contact with flesh, i’m not sure coz i wasn’t facing them, the older boy threw himself on the floor and started a wailing tantrum. i even goaded izad to take a picture with his cameraphone, HURHUR, but he declined, on the grounds of ethics. (perhaps he didn’t want the man to come after him with the cane too, lol!)
so what happens when they don’t bring the cane? will that make the children go even wilder, knowing that the ‘weapon of torture’ is not in sight? will being without cane make the parents handicapped?
what kind of long-lasting effect will this sort of public humiliation have on a child? i’d say – pretty long. at thirty, i still have lingering memories of being belted by the dad for whatever unjustified crimes i’d committed in my early childhood, even though they were meted out within the four walls of our house. i believe even the featherduster – the handle part – came into play. i think i’d have liked and respected my dad more if he’d tried a softer method in disciplining me. i’d probably have less rebellious moments. i may have turned out a less cynical and negative person. then again, it’s always easy to blame our shortcomings on our parents, isn’t it?
izad thinks caning may work, but only occasionally, and only when a child is say, in primary school, because he would have the capability to rationalise and internalise what he’d done wrong. but the two kids in the above scene were barely 2 and 3 years old respectively, so what does it do except provoke a meaningless pavlovian reaction to specific behaviours?
as we left the circus show behind, i asked izad another question: where in heck do we find canes anyway?? coz i’d never seen one in shops before! as we passed by some of our friendly neighbourhood shops, i was tempted to ask the ah-pek shopkeepers if they sold any. izad reckons they’re likely found in toy shops. along the way, we saw wooden curtain rods, plastic toy bats… but no rattan canes. darn.
perhaps they’re passed down from generation to generation, we thought. like family heirlooms or inheritance. “i now bestow upon you, The Family Rotan, so you may use it on your child… and him on his child… and all subsequent children in our family forevermore!”
personally, i wouldn’t be caught dead carrying a rattan cane everywhere i went.
for one, it definitely won’t match any of my outfits! :p
(maybe if you paint it a cute pink or orange and decorate it with flowery stickers…)
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