fun fun fun!

you gotta love parties, even if they’re for the kiddies.

he sure as heck does.

though he was more occupied with the entertainment than the food and games. (bah, those are for kiddies…)

more…

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ole!

yep, it was my first trip to the stadium to watch a football match.

it was red team versus blue team.

i was a little confused. see, i was wearing red, so i thought i was supposed to root for the red team. but everyone in red around me kept booing at the red team and scolding them with funny-sounding words like *beep* and *beep*. (eh, how come they come out as “*beep*” ah? got censor ah this blog?)

go red team go!

anyway, i made a lot of new friends there. the indian men sitting in front of us were quite funny and i poked their shoulders a few times to tell them so. they whistled very loudly and jiggled their butts and waved their hands in the air everytime something exciting happened in the field. i believe they were doing what is known as the bhangra. and i dunno why but unkle shukor kept calling me “ah-neh”. it’s ah-neek lah, unkle! hmph.

then there were the nice ladies sitting behind us. one of them even gave me a chicken nugget. then they carried me here there and everywhere. i was hoping i’d get passed along the whole stadium together with the kallang wave, but unfortunately, that didn’t happen. but mummy was more than happy to have her hands free for a while anyway.

oh, speaking of mummy, it was also her first trip to the stadium! my goodness, mum, you’ve never been to one of these in all your twenty-nine years of life? so deprived you are. luckily you managed to fish out that red adidas tee from your wardrobe that you’ve never worn before.

nevermind lah. you stick to your shopping malls, ok? at least it got you prepared for this event.

now stop asking where Precious is!

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we welcomed yet another boy in the jumari family. the fifth great-grandson to date.

to add to the already too-long line of grandsons. i lost count, but it’s something like five girls to thirteen boys or something.

we’re waiting for someone to break the trend and give us a girl.

oi, don’t look at me!

i may be the first girl grandchild in the jumari clan, but the chances of izad giving me an X chromosome is quite slim lah. he’s got many boys in his genes. (and many ‘boys’ in his jeans? heh.) :D

speaking of boys, we popped by two floors down to see this lil dear.

get well soon, bub! i hope you don’t give your mummy any more frights like that. :x

and as for this boy, at the hospital also can find chicks.

tsk.

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i hear that valentines day is coming soon.

that means a lot of boys and girls will be going out on romantic dates and such.

and so, for the benefit of my fellow brethren who will be making their moves on that day, here’s a guide to How To Be A Gentleman on a date with that hot chick of your choice.

first, ask her and let her decide where she would like to go, especially where to dine. this gives her the impression that you are a thoughtful person who values her inputs. also, this is to avoid her calling you a cheapskate should you suggest places like mcdonald’s, kfc, geylang market, etc. (that last one, by the way, is one of daddy’s favourite places to bring mummy to eat, that cheapskate.)

girl: let’s go to this place, they have lobsters.
boy: *gulp*

when you are seated, tell her she looks ravishing and good enough to eat. she will be so flustered and shy that she’ll skip the main course and order a salad to ensure she maintains her ravishing figure. if she has trouble reading the menu (from all that blustering), call the maitre d’ (or ‘waiter’, for the less refined) and order on her behalf. in your best french, no less.

boy: je veux le poulet, s’il vous plait. (translate: gimme gimme chicken!)
girl: apo dia bobal tu…

i would highly recommend this next bit after a nice meal. you know they say, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach? well, the way to a woman’s heart is through her shopping bag! now, boys, try your very best to stay awake and alert during this tough and trying part of the date. (i’d suggest having a cup of coffee after that meal.) your date will be asking you generic ten-year-series-type of questions, such as “does this make me look fat?” or “how do i look in these?” or “i wish i could have this!” (that last one sounds like a statement but is actually a hidden question, translated as “can you buy it for me?”. for more on Girl Statements That Are Actually Hidden Questions, please await the publication of my book of that title, to be out soon in all good bookstores.)

boy: this one looks REALLLYYYYYYY GOOOODDDD on ya, hun! i swear, on barney’s life!

now, here’s when the date ends and you reap your rewards! tell her thank you for the superduper great time, and a little bit more flattery wouldn’t harm too (eg. “you have such an interesting, brainy, brilliant mind” etc. well, girls like to hear they’re smart too, you know.)

and then, pucker up….

mummy: just lips, no tongue, now!

of course, if you are under 18 years of age, you have to be heavily supervised and chaperoned by your respective mummies. (like that fella, ashton kucher.)

with that, i wish all of you the best in your quest to be a full-fledged Gentleman like me.

may the Force be with you!

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